That’s just your opinion isn’t it?

Are you the type of person that finds it difficult to get along with people who don’t agree with you?

Does it seem reasonable to you to end friendships with people who hold views that are in opposition to your own? What a pity to end the possibility of so much interesting debate.

It is almost as if, at times, we become our views instead of who we are. (You do know that we aren’t our views don’t you?) That means that when someone disagrees with what we think about this and that, we assume they are in disagreement with us and can’t possibly care for us.

We make it very personal which is unreasonable, as a view or opinion is one of the most impersonal or changeable things about people. Or it should be.

If we let the experience of our lives touch us, if we are truly observant about what is ever changing all around us, our views and opinions will probably change too. If, on the other hand, we decide we will only see things that back up our opinions, and screen out everything else, little about us, including our views will ever have the opportunity to crack open and grow.

This is why it is probably a good idea to let things and people into your life that see things differently from you. Agree to see what is different from you in the world. Be touched, informed and educated by such people and things.

This doesn’t mean that you have to change your view, although you might. Exposure to differences of opinion provides you with opportunities to test out your views to see if you still want to hold by them.

If you don’t do this, what you think about things will become rigid, allowing no-one or nothing to affect or move them. This is the style of the pedant.

Sometimes we do find ourselves defending our views, opinions and faiths in a rigid, non-compromising way and we lose valuable friendships by this means. Allowing someone else to express an opposing view without taking offence does not necessarily mean that you have to give up the view you hold (although you might). Remember this:

• You are not your view and neither are they.


• Often seemingly opposing views have much more common ground in them than is initially apparent. People tend to see the points of conflict first and start arguing about those.


• People who share important deeply held views, often fall out on the small differences and make these a real sticking point, ignoring the joint values they have.

Humans are strange and funny beings sometimes aren’t they?

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