Here We Are Again

Today is Ash Wednesday. It is the start of the Lenten season, a time of prayer, fasting and caring for others. Some people dread this season, some don't pay it any attention at all, and yet others love and embrace the season. I fall into the latter group, but that wasn't always so.

I used to go to the absolute last service to get ashes to avoid sitting in the office with this smudge on my head because I didn't want to explain it or have anyone silently think I was weird. Today I came to the first service at 6:00a.m. so I could wear ashes all day long. Two very different mindsets, both mine, what changed? Me, God changed (is changing) me.

Last night my kids reminded me that last year I wrote about being mad on Fat Tuesday because something did not go the way I had planned. I honestly don't remember what happened and I didn't reread the post before writing this because here is what I think; the devil is REAL! In order to explain that let me go back a bit and tell you what I really think of Lent. I LOVE it! Every day and every part. I love it so much that I start thinking about it at least a month before it begins. I start my discernment on what Lent will be like for me; what will I fast from, how will my prayer change, and what will Jesus reveal to me in the process? This year I believe God has asked me to do harder things because He has bigger plans. I'm intimidated and excited at the same time. I am a little afraid of what comes next but willing to stand in the place He has planned. It is all kind of thrilling.

So back to the reality of the devil. Because my expectations of the season are so high I find I am far more sensitive to negative impact. Yesterday wasn't a great day for a myriad of reasons. Like last year, it took a bit of the shine off the pending season. I approach this week with an anticipation that requires planning and readiness. The focus is on readiness and if I don't think things are in place and ready, then there is room for failing. To me Lent is more important than Christmas! Naturally that isn't so, without Christmas there'd be no Lent or Easter, I know that, and Christmas also takes a lot of effort but the effort is in the doing while during Lent it is in the being. I can't BE focused if I have to worry about the things that aren't done. The devil, in my head, will make me feel like if I don't ______ (whatever) then Lent will not be fruitful. In other words, I will fail to be ready for whatever God has planned. I know this is ridiculous and that it is just the worm in my brain (the devil) constantly knocking me off balance. But this is what the devil does. If he can hold you in complacency all the better (because it's easy), but I am not complacent about my faith in the slightest. So instead of that he attacks me with self doubt, heaps and heaps of it. I, however, am not lacking in confidence because I know I am following where God is leading. So the devil needs to use heaps of _____ (self-recrimination, fear, anxiety, doubt, distraction, etc.) to weaken my resolve.

This year will be amazing, I just know it! God will reveal great things, all we have to do is fast AND pray, listen for His voice, AND see those around us that need our help. Be intentional about Lent and God will reveal His intentions through those things. For my part, I will share all of it, the good moments and the hard ones here so we can learn together though this shared experience. I'd love to hear about your experiences too, share in the comments or private message me.

God bless!